george carlin government doesn't care about you

24. '""The difference between left and right of centeroriginated in the Frenchparliament. 60+ Hilarious George Carlin Quotes and Jokes | Thought Catalog You work 40 years until you're too young to work. Any lawyer who refers to the police as the "Federalies." Why isnt selling fucking legal? Banana Republic ran out of khakis? ""Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age. If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're f**ked." "Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age. Im talking about the real owners now the real owners. Have you noticed that there are some people, who when they lose something, their first reaction is that it had to be stolen? George Carlin- The official home of one of the most important and influential American stand-up comedian, social critic, actor, and author. Carlin was known for his dark comedy and reflections on politics, religion, psychology, language and taboo subjects. Girls who get drunk and throw up at breakfast. I love that. It's our differences. And camcorders: here is technology gone berserk. Doesn't this piss you off? That's generally been true. Only once have I lost my cool. That's it one swing fuck you, you're out sit down! Each one of them has an entire hologram of the universe somewhere within them. George Carlin, 34. Occasionally, a couple of jokes on a long list might have come from me, but not often. No question about it. You realize that most of the right-to-lifers are in favor of the DEATH penalty? What a ratio that is: 399,993 to 7. "One thing leads to another"? And you can see their point: wouldn't want some guy to go to Hell, Quality, value, style, service, selection, convenience, economy, savings, performance, experience, hospitality, low rates, friendly service, name brands, easy terms, affordable prices, money-back guarantee, free installation, free admission, free appraisal, free alterations, free delivery, free home trial, and free parking. 51 Genius Quotes That Prove George Carlin Was A Modern Philosopher But once youre born, youre on your own. I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. Its only a piece of cloth. George Carlin, 75.The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful of insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers.. but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. They want obedient workers. And, by the way, theres nothing wrong with the planet in the first place. The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful insurance companies, there are six or seven information centersbut if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. Who wants to get sucked off by a forty-three-year-old clergyman with beard stubble? If Easter Island gives us some crap tomorrow, we have a plan in a computer that tells us exactly how to thoroughly bomb the shit out of Easter Island. Am I right? You have no right to complain. I don't understand why prostitution is illegal. Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save the snails. 31. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.". How can [God] be perfect? And in 2017, Rolling Stone magazine ranked Carlin second on its list of the 50 Best Stand-Up Comics of All Time, just behind Richard Pryor. I, George Carlin, being of sound mind, do not wish, upon my demise, to be buried or cremated. So maybe it's not the politicians who suck; maybe it's something else. For myself, I have solved this political dilemma in a very direct way. But he can't say, "I think he hurt his balls on that play, Tony, don't you?". Carlin dropped out of high school and was stationed in Barksdale Air Force Base in Bossier City, Louisiana in 1954 . Everyone smiles in the same language. George Carlin, 35. Because chickens are decent people. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. George Carlin, 26. It simply doesn't give a fuck about you. Let me get a sip of water hereyou figure this stuff is safe to drink? ""Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? ""This is a little prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. If two baseball players from the same hometown, on different teams, receive the same uniform number, it is not ironic. Fewer Texans. Over the years, dozens of joke lists and rants have been forwarded around the internet and misattributed to George Carlin. Thats our history. 35. A crazy person will beat nine people to death with a steel dildo, but he'll be wearing a Bugs Bunny suit at the time. In this blog post, we'll take a look at some of Carlin's most famous quotes on government. Americans love to eat. Feel free to reach out and connect. Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that shit. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. Doesn't happen 'cause chickens are decent people. You kick him squarely in the nuts, and you get the fuck out of there as fast as you can, and you go tell somebody right away; you tell as many grown-up people as you canone of them is bound to believe you. I said, "Definitely, I feel we have too many dopes." George Carlin has many famous quotes about government, education and the American dream that are often referenced as truth. Everywhere you go now, there's some dick, some yo-yo, some putz with a camcorder, and he is going to tapeEVERYTHING! George Carlin quotes and jokes about humanity. They want it back so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street. People are fucking nuts. After all, he was one of the most successful comedians of all time! You know? 37. The government doesnt care about you, or your children, or your rights, or your welfare, or your safety. Here are 51 quotes from the late comedian that show him at his best hilarious, irascible and never satisfied with the state of society. Im a loyal American and Im not happy unless I let government and industry poison me a little bit every day.

News 4 San Antonio Morning Anchors, Who Makes Silver Thread Fishing Line, St Joseph Church Toms River, Nj Bulletin, How Old Is Mark Kriski Wife Jennifer Gould, Worcester Evening News Crown Court, Articles G